Burnt Out

Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth?

Sometimes, when you are listening to people talk, you can't help but wonder if they actually even know what they are saying.  You start to speculate how many of the things they talk about are things they actually listen to.  How many of the words carry some substance?  I've wondered the same questions when listening to others and I'm sure others have wondered the same thing when listening to me.  And as much as people like to remind you about having two ears for listening and one mouth for talking, quite frankly, that one mouth can make a helluva lot more noise than than those two ears can.  But the beautiful thing about writing is that, you can always come back and read what you wrote.  I love that about having a blog; I can come back a week later and just read what I had thought at that time.  Its amazing.

Right now, I'm sitting here and I'm totally burnt out from about ten or so weeks of summer school.  I've been through somewhere around five sets of midterms, one set of finals, and a ton of hours in lab.  Throw in interning at a research lab, playing some basketball, and spending most of the last month without food or water during the day and you find a totally burnt out Moses.  Alas, there's just a few more days before I get a tiny little vacation.  Just one more set of finals to get through.  And as much as I'm struggling to push on, I remembered what was originally what I wrote to a good friend over facebook chat--yeah, I'm one of those people who writes long IM's but you could have probably guessed that by now--that is keeping me going tonight:

There comes a time where you just need to invest in others.  Its that point where you are too tired to go on and too stubborn to change your mind.  At that point, there's nothing that pushes me more than sitting down and imagining what life would be like if my dreams came true. The happy family, the proud parents, the thankful patients.. all these smiles that you are the cause of. Invest in those smiles. When you come to a point where you feel too stuck in your ways to make a change, don't do it for yourself because yourself is already swimming in pity. Do it for your loved ones. Do it for your future.

Also, check out this little video by the Fresh Prince: